How to Repair a Work Relationship After You Snap - The Muse

How to Repair a Work Relationship After You Snap - The MuseHow to Repair a Work Relationship After You Snap Your value to your team cant be understated- and everyone knows it. But sometimes youre so focused on the task at hand that it leads you to snap at one of your colleagues. And rather than inspiring everyone to make that final push to the finish line, it brings the groups process to a screeching halt. Of course, youre probably smart enough to know that you need to fix the situation. But a half-hearted apology probably wont cut it after you lash out. Instead, here are a few painful (but necessary) steps to repair the relationship. 1. Take a Minute to VentIve lost count of the number of times Ive suggested venting after youve addressed a few other things. Its usually the font of activity thats best to save until after youve given yourself a few minutes to digest whats just happened. But, in the immediate aftermath of yelling at one of your colleagues, Ive found that its a much bet ter idea to get it all out before you approach that person again. Think of this as that email you write to a person whos driving you nuts and making your life miserable. As you probably know if youve done that, once you see it all in writing, you realize its kind of mean and end up leaving it in your draft folder. Take a few moments to write a letter to your colleague (but make sure youre writing it in a distribution policy thatll never be seen). When you see everything spelled out, youll likely realize that many of those things dont need to be repeated- and that perhaps you overreacted. And because now have that clarity, youll have a much easier time taking the next steps.2. Own the Mistakes You MadeEven though youre convinced that youre right more often than not, its important to think deeply about how you mightve contributed to what just went down. After all, even if your colleague escalated the situation, it usually takes two to tango. So, before you talk to that person again, j ot down two or three possible ways that you made the sitaution more heated- and then set up a meeting with that person so you can acknowledge those things. Its never fun to admit your mistakes, especially when you know that you were just trying to move a project forward. However, saying that youre sorry (and really meaning it) shows everyone on your team that you have some serious leadership potential. If apologizing isnt your forte, make it easier on yourself by using one of these apology templates. Youll be surprised by how productive a conversation can be when youre the first to say youre sorry.3. Let Your Teammate Tell You How They Feel- and Actually ListenAfter you let your teammate know how you feel you let them down, quickly pivot and stop talking. Even the most sincere apology can fall flat if youre dominating the conversation. It can make the other person feel as if youre trying to end the meeting on your terms, without much of a care about how the experience welches for th em. Yes, its noble that youve taken the step to say, Sorry for that terrible thing I did to you. But that apology will resonate so much more if you also shut your mouth and listen to that other person tell you how your harsh words made them feel. You might not leave as best friends, but youll both have a better understanding of what you were trying to achieve when you snapped. It would be so much easier if you went about your life and pretended that you never yelled at your teammate. But even as time passes, people dont forget the times you were difficult to work with, especially if you didnt clear the air afterwards. You might be in for some uncomfortable conversations, but ultimately, youll learn a lot about yourself in the process- and youll gain valuable experience in managing the tricky landscape of working closely with other people.